200+ Hee Haw Jokes That’ll Make You Laugh Like a Donkey in a Cornfield

Get ready to holler and hoot—because these Hee Haw jokes are rootin’-tootin’ funny!

Whether you’re strolling through a cornfield or just flipping channels looking for a laugh, there’s nothing like some good ol’ country-style humor. Inspired by the classic TV show Hee Haw, these jokes bring back the charm of straw hats, banjos, and a whole lotta “hee hawin’” fun.

If you’re a fan of silly sayings, knee-slappin’ puns, and timeless one-liners, then saddle up. We’ve got everything from one-liners to classic clean jokes you can share with the whole family.

So grab your overalls and let’s plow into the fun.

Hee Haw Jokes One-Liners

Start with a snort! These quick-hit one-liners are the perfect way to kick off your chuckles.

• I told my mule a joke—he gave me the long face.
• Pa said I was born to farm—‘cause I always plow through my problems.
• I tried dating a scarecrow… but she was too stuffed up.
• Granny’s cooking is so bad, even the chickens crossed the road to avoid it.
• My tractor and I are in a long-term plow-together relationship.
• He’s so slow, he’d lose a race against molasses in January.
• I went fishin’ yesterday—caught a cold and nothin’ else.
• Life on the farm ain’t bad, ‘til the pigs start organizing a union.
• I asked for a raise… Pa handed me a hay bale.
• He’s the kind of guy who’d bring a spoon to a cattle drive.
• Uncle Jim’s beard got stuck in the combine again—talk about farm-to-face.
• That cow’s got more attitude than the preacher’s wife on Sunday.
• My cousin’s so country, his GPS just says, “Y’all turn left sometime soon.”
• Our cornfield’s got more drama than a soap opera—stalkin’ and whisperin’.
• Pa says I’m like a chicken—always scratching around for attention.
• Ma told me to clean the coop—so I took a shower.
• They say laughter’s the best medicine—guess that’s why I’m allergic to silence.
• We had a barn party. It was off the hay-hook.
• My rooster thinks he’s a stand-up comedian—he only crows at sunrise open mic.
• I’m so broke, I milk the goat for gas money.
• I told Pa I want to move to the city—he said, “Why? The pigs love you.”
• Cousin Earl’s got a face for radio and a voice for farming.
• My love life’s like a tumbleweed—dry and always rolling away.
• I asked for directions, and the guy said, “Just follow the smell of cow pies.”

Funny Hee Haw Jokes

Let’s bring on the belly laughs. These Hee Haw-style jokes are pun-packed and perfect for a down-home giggle.

• Why did the chicken join the Hee Haw cast? To bring the real “poultry in motion”!
• What do you call a cow with a sense of humor? Laughing stock!
• Why don’t pigs tell secrets? ‘Cause they always squeal!
• Why did the farmer start a podcast? He wanted to broadcast his corn-y opinions!
• How did the goat become famous? He started acting in mooo-vies.
• Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
• What do you get when you cross a banjo and a turkey? A pluckin’ good time.
• Why did Granny bring string to the party? To tie one on!
• Why did Pa sleep in the barn? He said the hay snored less than Ma.
• What did the rooster say to the hen at the dance? “You make me feel cluckin’ alive!”
• Why did the tractor break up with the barn? It needed space to plow through emotions.
• What do farm kids call breakfast? Chicken in the shell.
• Why did the donkey get a job at the bar? He was the best at kickin’ back.
• Why don’t cows make good comedians? Their timing is udderly awful.
• Why did the tomato get kicked out of the garden? He couldn’t ketchup.
• What’s a cornfield’s favorite instrument? The stalk flute.
• Why did Uncle Earl carry a ladder in the chicken coop? He heard the eggs were on the top shelf.
• What do you call a sassy potato? A tater-tude!
• What’s Ma’s secret to a happy marriage? Separate rocking chairs and a shared moonshine.
• Why’d the cow get promoted? She had outstanding moo-rale!
• What do you call a barn with a sense of humor? A laugh-stable.
• Why did the pig join the comedy show? He was hogging all the laughs.
• What did the tractor say to the field? “I’m wheel-y into you.”
• Why was the chicken late? He got caught up at a peck-nic.

Hee Haw Cornfield Jokes

Ah, the classic cornfield—where punchlines grow like weeds and laughter’s just a hoe away.

• Why do scarecrows never get bored in the cornfield? Too much ear-to-ear chatter.
• What did the corn say to the gossiping neighbor? “Stop spreading kernels of drama!”
• Why did the corn stalk get dumped? It was too husky.
• What do you call an argument in a cornfield? A crop fight.
• Why did Ma stop singing in the cornfield? Too many ears listening.
• What’s a cornfield’s favorite holiday? Ear-mas.
• Why did the joke fall flat in the cornfield? It was too corny—even for corn!
• How do you know a cornfield’s happy? It’s all ears.
• Why did Pa hide in the cornfield? He needed to stalk someone quietly.
• What did the farmer say after a bad harvest? “Shucks!”
• Why can’t corn tell secrets? It always pops off!
• What do you call a haunted cornfield? A crop of horrors.
• Why did the chicken cross the cornfield? To show it wasn’t chicken.
• What do corn stalks gossip about? Their kernel crushes.
• Why did the cow avoid the cornfield? She heard it was a-maize-ing and got jealous.
• What’s the scariest part of the cornfield? The silent stalkers.
• What did the kernel say to the butter? “You melt my husk.”
• Why did the cornfield throw a party? It was time to get things poppin’!
• What’s the cornfield’s favorite type of music? Ear-itation pop.
• Why did the farmer name his band “The Corny Notes”? Because they only play field tunes.
• What do you call corn that joins a circus? A pop performer.
• What did the baby corn ask the mama corn? “Where’s popcorn?”
• Why are cornfield jokes always funny? Because they never get old—they just get huskier.
• Why did the cornfield take a selfie? To capture its best ear-side.

Classic Hee Haw Sayings

Step back in time with these old-school Hee Haw-style zingers. Pure, down-home gold you’ll want to pass on to the next generation.

• “If it weren’t for bad luck, I’d have no luck at all.”
• “You can’t fix stupid, but you can vote it out next season.”
• “She’s so sweet, even the bees follow her.”
• “He’s about as sharp as a mashed potato.”
• “Ma’s cooking brings the family together—usually around the antacid bottle.”
• “Life’s like a chicken coop ladder—short and full of you-know-what.”
• “Don’t count your chickens ‘til the preacher’s said grace.”
• “Granny’s got a memory like a corncrib—plenty of holes in it.”
• “He’s got more excuses than a rooster in a henhouse.”
• “You can’t plow a field by turning it over in your mind.”
• “If the mule kicks you once, shame on him. If he kicks you twice—well, you shouldn’t be standin’ there.”
• “He talks so slow, you could plant crops between his words.”
• “I’m so broke I can’t even pay attention.”
• “She’s as nervous as a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs.”
• “Bless her heart—she’s got a mind like a screen door.”
• “He’s about as helpful as a screen door on a submarine.”
• “That boy’s got two speeds—slow and slower.”
• “She’s prettier than a speckled pup under a red wagon.”
• “It’s hotter than a billy goat in a pepper patch.”
• “He’s as crooked as a dog’s hind leg.”
• “Granny’s got more wrinkles than a roadmap.”
• “That dog won’t hunt, but he sure’ll bark about it.”
• “She’s got a tongue so sharp, it could slice through cornbread.”
• “He’s so lazy, he’d hire someone to chew his tobacco.”
• “He’s got a memory like a sieve in a thunderstorm.”

Clean Hee Haw Jokes

Family-friendly fun for every age. These jokes are squeaky clean and still hilariously country.

• Why did the mule refuse to play poker? He thought it was a bad “bray.”
• What’s a horse’s favorite state? Neigh-braska.
• Why did the cow enroll in school? She wanted to be a moo-sician.
• What do you get when you cross a chicken with a banjo? A plucky performer!
• Why did the farmer start telling jokes? His corn was too shy to pop.
• What did the baby goat say to the cabbage? “Lettuce be friends!”
• Why do pigs never get invited to parties? They always hog the snacks.
• What’s a farmer’s favorite social media? Cropchat.
• Why don’t donkeys tell jokes? They bray too loud at their own punchlines.
• Why did the sheep get promoted? She was outstanding in her wool-duties.
• What did the hay bale say to the tractor? “I’m falling for you!”
• Why did the chicken avoid the road? Because it heard about traffic “fowl-ups.”
• Why did the pig write a novel? He had a lot of ham-scripts.
• What’s a rooster’s favorite dance? The chicken shuffle.
• What do you call a cow that just had a calf? De-calf-inated.
• Why did the barn stay so tidy? The cows were “udderly” clean.
• What do you call a group of singing sheep? A baa-ber shop quartet.
• Why don’t scarecrows use cell phones? Too many dropped calls in the field.
• What did the rooster say at sunrise? “Time to rise and cackle!”
• Why did the goat become a comedian? He had a knack for “bleating” jokes.
• Why did the horse eat with a fork? Because he was fed up with grazing.
• Why do cows make terrible secret agents? Because they always spill the beans.
• Why did the duck become a farmer? He wanted to grow quackers.
• What did the farmer say to the lazy pig? “You’ve got to bring home the bacon!”
• Why do barns make great comedians? They always bring the house down.

Best Hee Haw Jokes

Here’s the cream of the cornfield crop—fan-favorite jokes that’ll make even a mule chuckle.

• What did the donkey say at the party? “Let’s get this hee haw started!”
• Why did the cow audition for Hee Haw? She wanted her moo-ment in the spotlight.
• Why did the pig join the choir? He had a “ham-some” voice.
• What do you call a laughing barn? A stable giggler.
• What did the goat say when he lost his hat? “Well I’ll be bleated!”
• Why did the scarecrow join the comedy club? He was tired of just standing around.
• What’s Pa’s favorite exercise? Hay-lifting.
• Why don’t cows gossip? Because they don’t want to stir up any bull.
• Why did the tractor get a therapist? It had too many attachments.
• What do you call a chicken with attitude? Sassy nuggets.
• Why did the farmer start yodeling? Because his field was “calling” him.
• Why was the hen always late? Because she had egg-zactly no time sense.
• What do you get when a rooster tells a joke? A real cackle-fest.
• What’s a cow’s favorite newspaper? The Daily Moo.
• What do you call a goat who tells dad jokes? The “baaad” punster.
• Why did the donkey refuse to sing? He didn’t want to make a bray of himself.
• Why was the barn roof always happy? It was over the moooon!
• What did the farmer say to his cows at bedtime? “Time to hit the hay!”
• Why was the horse banned from karaoke night? He always hoofed the lyrics.
• Why did the pig install a fan? He wanted a little “oink conditioning.”
• What do you call a laughing mule? A hee-haw-larious friend.
• Why did Ma carry a chicken to the town hall? For some cluckin’ business.
• What do you call a donkey with great manners? Hee Haw-tiful.
• Why did Pa wear suspenders to the barn? To keep his pants up while raisin’ the roof.
• What’s a cow’s favorite pick-up line? “Are you pasture prime?”

Silly Hee Haw Jokes for All Ages

These knee-slappin’, toe-tappin’ Hee Haw jokes are perfect for kids, grandpas, and everyone in between!

• What did the donkey say to the carrot? “I’m head over hooves for you!”
• Why did the chicken go to the comedy club? To egg-sperience some yolks.
• What do you get when you cross a pig and a comedian? A ham-slapper.
• Why did Pa bring a broom to the cornfield? To sweep up those dirty jokes.
• Why did the cow skip class? It had moo-noia.
• What did the rooster text his girlfriend? “You make my feathers ruffle!”
• Why did the goat open a bakery? Because he kneaded the dough.
• What do pigs do on their day off? Bacon in the sun.
• Why did Ma put a bell on the chicken? So she could egg-sactly track it.
• What do you call a sheep that tells tall tales? A wooly fibber.
• Why did the corn blush? It saw the farmer undressing the field.
• Why don’t horses use cell phones? Because they hoof-dial too much.
• What’s a duck’s favorite Hee Haw joke? “I quack myself up!”
• What did the cow say to the pasture? “You’re looking fresh!”
• Why did the mule go to therapy? He was carrying too much emotional hay.
• Why did the barn go on a diet? Too many layers of dust.
• What do you call a happy scarecrow? A jolly rancher.
• Why did the hen take singing lessons? To improve her peckformance.
• What do you call a cowboy who tells jokes? A laugh ranger.
• Why did Pa put the chickens in sweaters? For eggs-tra warmth.
• What’s Ma’s favorite joke? Anything with “corn” in it.
• Why did the cow start a band? She had the moosical talent.
• Why don’t pigs get in trouble? Because they squeal before they act.
• What did the donkey say to the hen? “You crack me up.”
• Why did the goat join the circus? To be a baaa-lancer.
• What do farm kids write in their journals? “Dear Dairy…”

Hee Haw Jokes to Make You Holler

When it’s time to laugh until you wheeze, this section’s got the jokes that’ll make you holler like a barnyard banshee.

• Why did the chicken bring a microphone to the cornfield? For stand-up peck-formance.
• Why did the mule break up with the fence post? It was too wooden.
• What did the farmer say after planting a smile? “Let’s see if it grows on ya.”
• Why was the goat blushing? Someone called him “baaad.”
• Why did Pa stop telling jokes? He couldn’t out-funny the cow.
• Why did Ma bring a piglet to the party? To ham it up!
• What’s a mule’s favorite dance move? The Bray-dance.
• Why did the chicken fail at karaoke? She kept laying eggs on stage.
• What do you call it when the corn tells a story? A-maize-ing tales.
• Why did the haystack join improv? To roll with it.
• What’s a scarecrow’s favorite subject? Crop culture.
• Why did the duck fail math? Too many fowl calculations.
• What’s a rooster’s go-to joke? Anything that cracks up the chicks.
• Why did Pa ride the tractor backward? He wanted to plow into the past.
• What did Ma say to the gossiping chickens? “Stop spreading yolks!”
• Why did the barn have a band-aid? It had a roof scratch.
• Why did the cow wear boots? To milk the runway.
• What’s Ma’s favorite TV show? The Real Housewives of Hee Haw County.
• Why did Pa take a ladder into the well? He wanted to get to the bottom of things.
• What’s a hen’s favorite game? Peck-a-boo.
• Why did the rooster get fired? Too cocky.
• What do you call a donkey that won’t stop singing? A hee-harmony machine.
• Why did the chicken take a nap? It had eggs-haustion.
• Why did Pa sleep on the porch? He wanted to dream closer to the cornfield.
• What’s the hay bale’s favorite season? Fall—‘cause it’s always rolling.

Hee Haw Jokes FAQ:

What are Hee Haw jokes?
Hee Haw jokes are lighthearted, country-style puns and one-liners inspired by the humor and charm of the classic TV show Hee Haw. They blend rustic humor with wordplay, animals, and down-home living.

Are Hee Haw jokes family-friendly?
Absolutely! These jokes are clean, silly, and safe for every age. Great for parties, classrooms, or even just relaxing on the porch.

Can I use Hee Haw jokes for events or parties?
Yes! They’re perfect for country-themed parties, family gatherings, talent shows, or any event that could use a laugh.

Do you need to be a fan of the Hee Haw show to enjoy these jokes?
Not at all. Even if you’ve never seen the show, you’ll love the humor if you enjoy puns, farm life, and playful storytelling.

What makes Hee Haw jokes special?
Their homespun charm and simple humor stand the test of time. Whether it’s a silly pun or a witty one-liner, these jokes deliver consistent chuckles with a country twist.

Can I share these Hee Haw jokes on social media?
Yes, and we’d love that! Tag your friends or caption your selfies with a punny line—they’re perfect for lightening the feed.

Where can I find more jokes like these?
Stick around our blog—we update weekly with themed puns and humor. From cow jokes to cornfield classics, you’ll always find something to make you smile.

The Final Hee Haw

Well, folks, we’ve reached the end of the dirt road—and what a joyful ride it’s been!

From witty one-liners to classic barnyard banter, these Hee Haw jokes remind us that laughter doesn’t need frills. Sometimes all it takes is a good pun and a bit of country charm.

We hope you laughed, chuckled, maybe even snorted a little. Bookmark this post, share it with your fellow chucklers, and keep coming back for more.

Thanks for joining us for this hee-haw-larious journey!