200+ Clean Jokes That Will Actually Make You Laugh (Without Blushing)
Welcome to a feel-good joke fest where the punchlines are fresh, the laughs are guilt-free, and no one’s grandma gets offended. Whether you’re at work, with family, or just need a good chuckle, these clean jokes are the answer.
Clean humor doesn’t mean boring. These puns and jokes are clever, quirky, and actually funny—without crossing the line. From church potlucks to office watercoolers, they fit in everywhere.
So grab your coffee, your coworkers, or your kid—and let the laughter begin. These jokes prove you don’t need to be crude to be hilarious.
Clean Jokes for Adults
These jokes are witty, lighthearted, and perfect for grown-ups who want to laugh without getting awkward.
Why don’t skeletons fight each other?
Because they don’t have the guts!
Why did the scarecrow win an award?
Because he was outstanding in his field.
I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high.
She looked surprised.
Why did the tomato turn red?
Because it saw the salad dressing.
Parallel lines have so much in common.
It’s a shame they’ll never meet.
I would avoid the sushi if I were you.
It’s a little fishy.
Why don’t eggs tell jokes?
They’d crack each other up.
I used to play piano by ear.
Now I use my hands.
My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo.
I had to put my foot down.
Why did the math book look sad?
Because it had too many problems.
Why was the computer cold?
It left its Windows open.
The rotation of the earth really makes my day.
How do you organize a space party?
You planet.
I told my computer I needed a break, and it said: “Go ahead, I’ll crash.”
How do you make holy water?
You boil the hell out of it.
Why do cows wear bells?
Because their horns don’t work.
I can’t believe I got fired from the calendar factory.
All I did was take a day off.
What do you call a factory that makes okay products?
A satisfactory.
Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants?
In case he got a hole in one.
What do you call cheese that isn’t yours?
Nacho cheese.
Why did the chicken join a band?
Because it had the drumsticks.
Time flies like an arrow.
Fruit flies like a banana.
I used to be addicted to soap.
But I’m clean now.
Funny Clean Jokes
These are the jokes that make you laugh out loud… and you don’t have to worry if your mom’s in the room.
Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers?
He made a mint.
I was wondering why the frisbee kept getting bigger.
Then it hit me.
What did one ocean say to the other ocean?
Nothing, they just waved.
Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
Because if they flew over the bay, they’d be bagels.
How does a penguin build its house?
Igloos it together.
What lights up a soccer stadium?
A soccer match.
Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself?
It was two-tired.
What do you get if you cross a snowman and a dog?
Frostbite.
Did you hear the rumor about butter?
Well, I’m not going to spread it.
I went to buy some camouflage pants yesterday but couldn’t find any.
How do cows stay up to date with current events?
They read the moos-paper.
What do you call a pig that does karate?
A pork chop.
Why was the broom late?
It swept in.
What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A gummy bear.
Why do bees have sticky hair?
Because they use honeycombs.
What did one wall say to the other?
I’ll meet you at the corner.
Why did the cookie go to the doctor?
Because it felt crummy.
What do you call a sleeping bull?
A bulldozer.
Why was the stadium so cool?
It was filled with fans.
Why don’t some couples go to the gym?
Because some relationships don’t work out.
I told a joke about a roof once… it went over everybody’s head.
Clean Jokes for Work
Make your next office break more enjoyable with these jokes that are 100% HR-approved.
Why don’t we tell secrets on a farm?
Because the potatoes have eyes and the corn has ears.
Why don’t elevators ever get tired?
Because they’re always taking things to the next level.
What did the big flower say to the little flower?
“Hi, bud!”
Why don’t calendars ever get jealous?
Because they always have dates.
Why did the stapler break up with the paper?
It felt too attached.
How does a project manager change a light bulb?
They schedule a meeting first.
Why did the employee eat a clock?
Because it was time-consuming.
What does a pencil say during a tough day?
“I’m feeling pointless.”
Why did the desk go to therapy?
It had too much emotional baggage.
Why was the office computer always calm?
It had plenty of byte.
What do you call a snarky receptionist?
A sass-istant.
How does a printer flirt?
By sending mixed signals.
Why did the spreadsheet file file for divorce?
It had too many issues with the formula.
Why was the boss so calm?
Because nothing gets under his spreadsheet.
Why did the coffee file a police report?
It got mugged.
What’s an intern’s favorite game?
Hide and spreadsheet.
Why did the chair break up with the desk?
Because it needed space.
What do you call a hardworking mouse?
A clickaholic.
Why was the meeting always late?
It couldn’t find its agenda.
Why did the keyboard break up with the monitor?
No connection.
Why did the boss bring a ladder to the office?
Because they were climbing the corporate ladder.
Good Clean Jokes
Need some clever but innocent humor? These good clean jokes deliver just that—smart, silly, and safe for all.
Why don’t ants get sick?
Because they have tiny ant-bodies.
Why do birds fly south in the winter?
Because it’s too far to walk.
What did one hat say to the other?
“You stay here. I’ll go on ahead.”
Why did the banana go to the doctor?
It wasn’t peeling well.
What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?
A carrot.
Why can’t your nose be 12 inches long?
Because then it would be a foot.
Why did the fish blush?
Because it saw the ocean’s bottom.
How do you catch a squirrel?
Climb a tree and act like a nut.
Why did the clock go to therapy?
It had too many ticks.
What do you call a fake noodle?
An impasta.
What do you call an alligator in a vest?
An investigator.
Why did the bicycle fall over?
Because it was two-tired.
What kind of tree fits in your hand?
A palm tree.
What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?
“Supplies!”
Why don’t oysters share their pearls?
Because they’re a little shellfish.
What do you call a belt made out of watches?
A waist of time.
Why did the sheep cross the road?
To get to the baa-baa shop.
What did one plate say to the other?
“Lunch is on me.”
Why can’t pirates learn the alphabet?
Because they always get stuck at “C”.
What did the grapes say when they got stepped on?
Nothing. They just let out a little wine.
How do you stop a bull from charging?
Cancel its credit card.
Clean Jokes for Kids
Silly and safe, these jokes are perfect for little ones and guaranteed to get the giggles going.
Why don’t teddy bears eat dessert?
Because they’re always stuffed!
Why did the cookie cry?
Because his mom was a wafer too long.
What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire?
Frostbite.
Why was six afraid of seven?
Because seven eight nine.
What do elves learn in school?
The elf-abet.
Why did the kid bring a ladder to school?
Because she wanted to go to high school.
What kind of key opens a banana?
A monkey.
Why did the duck cross the road?
To prove he wasn’t a chicken.
How does a cucumber become a pickle?
It goes through a jarring experience.
What has ears but can’t hear?
A cornfield.
What did one snowman say to the other?
“Do you smell carrots?”
Why did the frog take the bus to work?
Because his car got toad.
Why did the banana wear sunscreen?
So it wouldn’t peel.
What do you call a sleeping dinosaur?
A dino-snore.
How do you make a tissue dance?
Put a little boogie in it.
Why was the broom late?
It swept in.
Why did the student eat his homework?
Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake.
Why don’t elephants use computers?
They’re afraid of the mouse.
What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary?
A thesaurus.
Why did the spider go to school?
To learn web design.
Best Clean Jokes
These are the greatest hits—timeless, family-friendly, and funny enough to crack a smile on even the toughest crowd.
Why was the math book sad?
It had too many problems.
How do you throw a space party?
You planet.
Why did the golfer bring an extra shirt?
In case he got a hole in one.
Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon?
Because she’ll let it go.
Why did the tree go to the dentist?
To get a root canal.
How do you make a lemon drop?
Just let it fall.
What did the fish say when it hit the wall?
“Dam.”
What did the big flower say to the small flower?
“Hey, bud.”
Why did the astronaut break up with his girlfriend?
He needed space.
What do you get when you cross a cow and a duck?
Milk and quackers.
Why are ghosts bad at lying?
Because you can see right through them.
What did the cat say after eating a lemon?
“Meowch!”
Why don’t cows have toes?
Because they lactose.
What happens when you tell a joke while eating cereal?
It goes down the wrong spoon!
Why don’t skeletons ever go trick or treating?
Because they have no body to go with.
What do you call a pile of cats?
A meow-tain.
Why don’t bakers ever feel fear?
Because they’re used to the heat.
What do you call a bee that can’t make up its mind?
A maybee.
Why don’t fish do well in school?
They’re always swimming below “sea” level.
Clean Jokes for Teens
These teen-approved clean jokes are witty, relatable, and never cringe (well, maybe just a little—on purpose).
Why can’t you trust stairs?
Because they’re always up to something.
Why was the music teacher arrested?
Because she got caught with too many sharp objects.
Why did the smartphone go to school?
It wanted to improve its “cell”-f esteem.
How do you organize a fantastic party in space?
You planet.
Why did the computer visit the doctor?
It had a virus!
What do you get when you cross an iPhone with a refrigerator?
Cool texts.
Why did the student do multiplication on the floor?
Because the teacher told him not to use tables.
What kind of shoes do ninjas wear?
Sneakers.
Why can’t you play hide and seek with mountains?
Because they always peak.
Why did the teenager bring a ladder to the dance?
To take things to the next level.
What’s a gamer’s favorite place to hang out?
The LAN party.
Why did the skateboard break up with the scooter?
It couldn’t handle the pressure.
What’s a light bulb’s favorite type of music?
Anything that’s lit.
Why did the teen get a job at the bakery?
Because they kneaded dough.
What did the earbud say to the phone?
“I’m wired in.”
Why don’t teens like going outside anymore?
There’s no Wi-Fi in nature.
What did the locker say to the student?
“You complete me.”
Why do teenagers never get lost?
They just follow the vibes.
Why did the diary refuse to talk?
It was keeping secrets.
Short Clean Jokes
One-liners and punchy puns—these short clean jokes get to the point and hit fast.
What do you call a lazy kangaroo?
A pouch potato.
How do you fix a broken pumpkin?
With a pumpkin patch.
Why did the cow win an award?
Because she was outstanding in her field.
What did one volcano say to the other?
“I lava you.”
Why was the belt arrested?
For holding up the pants.
Why are ghosts bad at lying?
You can see right through them.
What did one pencil say to the other?
“You’re looking sharp!”
How do cows stay informed?
They read the moos-paper.
Why did the man run around his bed?
To catch up on sleep.
Why did the frog call his insurance company?
He had a jump in his car.
How does a dog stop a video?
It presses the paws button.
Why do shoemakers go to heaven?
Because they have good soles.
Why did the orange stop halfway up the hill?
It ran out of juice.
How do you count cows?
With a cowculator.
Why did the cookie go to the nurse?
It felt crummy.
What did one toilet say to the other?
“You look flushed.”
Why was the calendar so popular?
Because it had a lot of dates.
What’s a snowman’s favorite snack?
Ice Krispies.
What do you call two birds in love?
Tweethearts.
Hilarious Clean Jokes
If you’re ready to laugh uncontrollably, these hilarious clean jokes bring the heat without any dirt.
Why did the man stare at the orange juice container?
Because it said “concentrate.”
Why don’t you ever see elephants hiding in trees?
Because they’re so good at it.
Why did the ghost go to the party?
For the boos.
What happens when frogs park illegally?
They get toad.
Why was the math book sad?
It had too many problems.
Why can’t your hand be 12 inches long?
Because then it would be a foot.
What kind of shoes does a thief wear?
Sneakers.
What’s brown and sticky?
A stick.
What did the zero say to the eight?
“Nice belt!”
What kind of music do mummies like?
Wrap.
Why did the grape stop in the middle of the road?
Because it ran out of juice.
How do you make a Kleenex dance?
Put a little boogie in it.
Why did the banana go to the hospital?
Because it wasn’t peeling well.
Why did the fish get bad grades?
Because it was below sea level.
Why can’t your nose be 12 inches long?
Because then it’d be a foot.
Why did the belt go to jail?
For holding up a pair of pants.
Why did the student eat his homework?
Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake.
What did the judge say to the skunk?
“Odor in the court!”
Clean Jokes FAQ: Light Laughs, Big Smiles
What are clean jokes?
Clean jokes are humorous one-liners, puns, or anecdotes that don’t involve offensive content, language, or adult themes. They’re suitable for all audiences.
Why are clean jokes great for families?
They’re safe for kids, teens, parents, and even grandma. Clean jokes bring people together without awkward explanations.
Can I use clean jokes at work or school?
Absolutely! Clean jokes are perfect icebreakers at meetings, assemblies, and presentations.
Where can I find more clean jokes?
Right here at punscity.com. We update regularly with new puns and joke collections.
Are clean jokes boring?
Not even close. The best clean jokes rely on wordplay, timing, and wit—not shock value.
Can I submit my own clean joke?
Sure thing! Visit our submissions page and we might feature your joke in our next roundup.
The Final Laugh
Clean jokes are the heart of timeless humor. They don’t rely on cringe or controversy—they’re just clever, silly, and genuinely funny. Perfect for kids, teens, grown-ups, and even your grumpy coworker.
Whether you’re sharing a laugh at lunch or kicking off a meeting with a smile, these jokes bring a fresh burst of joy. Laughter doesn’t need a filter—and neither do these zingers.
Keep punning, keep smiling, and come back to punscity.com for more pun-believable jokes every week!
Thanks for reading. Now go brighten someone’s day—with a clean joke.
