200+ Funniest Jokes That Will Make You Laugh Till It Hurts
Welcome to Punscity.com, where giggles grow wild and belly laughs bloom! If you’re in the mood for some serious silliness, you’ve just hit the jackpot of joy.
These are more than just funny jokes. We’re talking the funniest jokes ever—the kind that make your coffee shoot out your nose or your boss raise an eyebrow during a meeting.
From cheeky one-liners to full-blown punchline masterpieces, we’ve rounded up the funniest jokes of all time. Whether you want to impress your friends or just chuckle alone in the corner, this collection has got your back.
Funniest Jokes One Liners
Quick, punchy, and downright hilarious. These one-liners are short enough to memorize and funny enough to repeat all day.
Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.
I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
Parallel lines have so much in common… it’s a shame they’ll never meet.
Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.
I have a fear of speed bumps… but I’m slowly getting over it.
What’s orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot.
I used to think I was indecisive, but now I’m not so sure.
Why don’t oysters donate to charity? Because they’re shellfish.
I poured root beer in a square glass. Now I just have beer.
Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? It’s fine, he woke up.
Claustrophobia is the fear of closed spaces. For example, I’m going to the liquor store and I’m afraid it’s closed.
Don’t trust stairs. They’re always up to something.
Why can’t your nose be 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot.
I made a pencil with two erasers. It was pointless.
I told my dog to fetch a stick. He said, “You threw it—YOU get it!”
My friend wants to become an archaeologist, but his life is in ruins.
I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down.
Want to hear a construction joke? I’m still working on it.
I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole-destroying.
My calendar’s days are numbered.
Why did the scarecrow win an award? He was outstanding in his field.
I bought a boat because it was for sail.
Did you hear the rumor about butter? Well, I’m not going to spread it.
Funniest Jokes Q&A Style
These clever setups and laugh-out-loud answers are perfect for starting conversations—or ending them with a punchline.
Q: Why did the tomato turn red?
A: Because it saw the salad dressing!
Q: What’s brown and sticky?
A: A stick.
Q: Why can’t a nose be 12 inches long?
A: Because then it’d be a foot!
Q: What do you call fake spaghetti?
A: An impasta.
Q: How do you make holy water?
A: You boil the hell out of it.
Q: What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?
A: A carrot.
Q: What do you call cheese that isn’t yours?
A: Nacho cheese.
Q: What did the grape do when he got stepped on?
A: He let out a little wine.
Q: Why don’t eggs tell jokes?
A: Because they’d crack each other up.
Q: What did one wall say to the other wall?
A: I’ll meet you at the corner.
Q: Why don’t seagulls fly over the bay?
A: Because then they’d be bagels.
Q: What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?
A: “Supplies!”
Q: What do you call a fish wearing a bowtie?
A: Sofishticated.
Q: Why do cows wear bells?
A: Because their horns don’t work.
Q: What’s a skeleton’s favorite instrument?
A: The trom-bone.
Q: How does a penguin build its house?
A: Igloos it together.
Q: What do you call two birds in love?
A: Tweethearts.
Q: Why did the bicycle fall over?
A: It was two-tired.
Q: What do you call an alligator in a vest?
A: An investigator.
Q: What’s the best thing about Switzerland?
A: I don’t know, but the flag is a big plus.
Q: Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants?
A: In case he got a hole in one.
Q: What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
A: Frostbite.
Q: How do you catch a squirrel?
A: Climb a tree and act like a nut.
The Funniest Jokes Ever
Ready for the ultimate laughs? These are contenders for the funniest jokes of all time, guaranteed to lighten the mood.
I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes… so she hugged me.
I asked the IT guy, “How do you make a Motherboard?” He said, “I tell her about my job.”
A termite walks into the bar and asks, “Is the bartender here?”
If April showers bring May flowers, what do Mayflowers bring? Pilgrims.
A guy walks into a bar… and says “Ouch!” It was an iron bar.
Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut? He needed a little space.
I’m terrified of elevators, so I’m taking steps to avoid them.
I named my dog Five Miles so I can say I walk Five Miles every day.
A guy stole my mood ring. I don’t know how I feel about that.
Why did the chicken go to the séance? To talk to the other side.
My math teacher called me average. How mean!
I wasn’t originally going to get a brain transplant, but then I changed my mind.
I just wrote a book on reverse psychology. Don’t buy it.
Why do cows have hooves instead of feet? Because they lactose.
What do you call a man with a rubber toe? Roberto.
If you see a robbery at an Apple store, does that make you an iWitness?
Don’t trust atoms. They make up everything.
My friend’s bakery burned down last night. Now his business is toast.
People say I’m condescending. That means I talk down to people.
When life gives you melons, you might be dyslexic.
Clean & Silly Funniest Jokes
These jokes are as clean as grandma’s kitchen and just as wholesome. Silly? You bet. Funny? Absolutely.
Why don’t crabs donate? Because they’re shellfish.
How does a cucumber become a pickle? It goes through a jarring experience.
Why did the golfer bring an extra pair of socks? In case he got a hole in one.
What did the ocean say to the beach? Nothing, it just waved.
Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because the “P” is silent.
I used to hate facial hair… but then it grew on me.
Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged.
How do you organize a space party? You planet.
Why did the banana go to the doctor? It wasn’t peeling well.
Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers? He made a mint!
I only know 25 letters of the alphabet. I don’t know y.
Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon? Because she’ll let it go.
Why did the student eat his homework? Because the teacher told him it was a piece of cake.
What did one plate say to the other? Lunch is on me.
Why did the scarecrow win an award? He was outstanding in his field.
Why do ducks have feathers? To cover their butt quacks.
What kind of shoes do ninjas wear? Sneakers.
What did the traffic light say to the car? “Don’t look, I’m changing!”
Why did the grape stop in the middle of the road? It ran out of juice.
How do you make a tissue dance? Put a little boogie in it.
Why did the cookie cry? Because its mom was a wafer too long.
Why did the orange stop? It ran out of juice.
Why did the mushroom get invited to all the parties? Because he’s a fungi.
Why was the belt arrested? For holding up a pair of pants.
What happens to a frog’s car when it breaks down? It gets toad away.
Funniest Jokes for Adults
These jokes are still clean—just a little more grown-up. Perfect for parties, office chats, or anytime you want a good chuckle without the cringe.
Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they literally make up everything.
I asked the waiter, “Do you have frog legs?” He said, “No, I walk this way because of my shoes.”
Why don’t cannibals eat clowns? Because they taste funny.
What’s the difference between a poorly dressed man on a trampoline and a well-dressed man on a trampoline? Attire.
I told my boss three companies were after me. He said, “Which ones?” I replied, “Gas, electric, and water.”
Did you hear about the guy who accidentally made his morning coffee with Red Bull instead of water? He got halfway to work before realizing he forgot his car.
Why did the banker switch careers? He lost interest.
I tried to organize a hide and seek contest… but good players are hard to find.
My boss told me to have a good day, so I went home.
Why don’t bachelors like Git? Because they are afraid of commit.
I asked my date to meet me at the gym, but she didn’t show. Guess the two of us aren’t going to work out.
I accidentally swallowed some food coloring. The doctor says I’m okay but I feel like I’ve dyed a little inside.
I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.
I was wondering why the frisbee kept getting bigger… then it hit me.
If I had a dollar for every time I got distracted… I wish I had a puppy.
Why don’t skeletons ever use cell phones? They’d rather text from their bones.
Never trust people who do acupuncture. They’re back stabbers.
What did the boss say when he found the employee sleeping at work? “You’re fired… up to do nothing!”
Why did I get a job at the bakery? Because I kneaded dough.
Why did the spreadsheet apply for a job? It wanted to Excel.
My wife told me I should do lunges to stay in shape. That would be a big step forward.
I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don’t know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day.
I used to think the brain was the most important organ. Then I thought, “Look what’s telling me that.”
Funniest Jokes for Kids
Wholesome, giggle-worthy, and easy for the little ones to remember and share.
What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.
Why don’t you ever see elephants hiding in trees? Because they’re so good at it.
Why did the chicken join a band? Because it had the drumsticks.
What do you call a sleeping bull? A bulldozer.
What did one toilet say to the other? “You look flushed.”
Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems.
Why did the teddy bear say no to dessert? Because it was stuffed.
What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.
Why did the kid bring a ladder to school? Because he wanted to go to high school.
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.
Why was the broom late? It swept in.
How does the moon cut its hair? Eclipse it.
Why did the student eat his homework? Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!
What do you call a snowman in the summer? A puddle.
What does a cloud wear under his raincoat? Thunderwear.
What’s a ghost’s favorite dessert? Ice scream.
Why did the banana go to the party? Because it was a-peeling.
What kind of tree fits in your hand? A palm tree.
How do you stop a bull from charging? Cancel its credit card.
Why did the music teacher go to jail? Because she got caught with too many notes.
Why did the kid sit in the shade? Because he didn’t want to be a little sun-burned.
Why did the soccer player bring string? So he could tie the score.
What did the zero say to the eight? Nice belt!
Top 10 Funniest Jokes
Here are our handpicked favorites—short, sharp, and guaranteed to get a laugh. These are the top 10 funniest jokes people love to tell (and retell)!
- I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
- Parallel lines have so much in common. It’s a shame they’ll never meet.
- Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.
- Why did the chicken go to the séance? To talk to the other side.
- I asked my dog, “What’s two minus two?” He said nothing.
- My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo. I had to put my foot down.
- What did the fish say when he hit the wall? “Dam.”
- Why don’t eggs tell jokes? They’d crack each other up.
- I bought a ceiling fan the other day. Complete waste of money. He just stands there applauding and saying “Ooh, I love how smooth it is!”
- What do you call a factory that makes okay products? A satisfactory.
Funniest Knock Knock Jokes
Because who doesn’t love a good ol’ fashioned Knock Knock? These are short, goofy, and guaranteed to catch someone off guard.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Lettuce.
Lettuce who?
Lettuce in, it’s freezing out here!
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Cow says.
Cow says who?
No silly, cow says moooo!
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Olive.
Olive who?
Olive you and I miss you!
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Tank.
Tank who?
You’re welcome.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Boo.
Boo who?
Don’t cry, it’s just a joke!
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Dishes.
Dishes who?
Dishes the police, open up!
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Atch.
Atch who?
Bless you!
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Ice cream.
Ice cream who?
Ice cream every time I see a scary movie!
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Ya.
Ya who?
Wow, you’re really excited!
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Cereal.
Cereal who?
Cereal-ously, this is my favorite knock-knock joke.
World’s Funniest Jokes
These are the kind of jokes that have been voted the funniest jokes in the world. Internationally known. Universally loved.
I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.
A man walks into a library and asks for a book on cliffhangers…
So I asked my dog, “What’s two minus two?” He said nothing.
I threw a boomerang a few years ago. Now I live in constant fear.
I told my doctor I broke my arm in two places. He told me to stop going to those places.
Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love, and got married. The ceremony wasn’t much, but the reception was excellent.
Light travels faster than sound. That’s why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
Why don’t some couples go to the gym? Because some relationships don’t work out.
What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman.
My wife said I should do lunges to stay in shape. That would be a big step forward.
Why do we tell actors to “break a leg?” Because every play has a cast.
A guy walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says, “A beer please, and one for the road.”
Why did the old man fall in the well? Because he couldn’t see that well.
I told my computer I needed a break, and now it won’t stop sending me vacation ads.
I got hit in the head with a can of soda yesterday. Lucky for me, it was a soft drink.
The Bottom Line: Keep the Laughter Rolling
Laughter isn’t just medicine—it’s magic. And the funniest jokes don’t need to be long-winded or dirty to make people laugh till their stomachs hurt.
Whether you’re sharing a joke over coffee or need an icebreaker at a party, these puns and punchlines will never fail you.
We’ve got clean ones for the kids, clever ones for the adults, and classics that work anywhere in the world. From funniest jokes ever to knock-knock winners, we hope this list gave you more than a few chuckles.
