200+ Pilot Jokes That Will Have You Flying High with Laughter
Get ready for takeoff with these hilarious pilot jokes! These aviation puns are a real flight of fancy. They’ll make you soar with laughter and maybe even groan a little!
Flying is amazing, and so are pilot jokes. They’re the wind beneath our wings! Let’s buckle up for some high-altitude humor and sky-high smiles.
Did you know aviation humor has been around since the Wright Brothers? It’s a classic way to celebrate flight! Everyone loves a good pilot pun, especially at 30,000 feet!
So, gather your crew and passengers. Get ready for some turbulence-free fun! Let these sky-high jokes take flight!
Pilot Jokes One Liner
Ready for takeoff? Here are some quick and funny pilot one-liners to get your humor soaring at cruising altitude.
Why don’t pilots ever get speeding tickets? They’re always flying under the radar!
What do you call a pilot who’s afraid of heights? Grounded!
Why did the pilot break up with the flight attendant? She was always giving him altitude!
How do pilots stay cool? They use their plane fans!
What did the pilot say to the mountain? “You’re really peaking my interest!”
Why don’t pilots make good comedians? Their jokes always go over people’s heads!
What’s a pilot’s favorite type of music? Anything with a good altitude!
Why did the pilot go to art school? He wanted to learn how to draw flight plans!
What do you call a pilot with no sense of direction? A plain disaster!
Why do pilots make great DJs? They know how to drop the beat at 30,000 feet!
What did the pilot say when he landed perfectly? “That was plane awesome!”
Why don’t pilots ever get lost? They always know which way the wind blows!
What’s a pilot’s favorite snack? Plane chips!
Why did the pilot become a chef? He was great at whipping up turbulence!
What do you call a pilot who tells dad jokes? Captain Obvious!
Why don’t pilots like bumpy flights? It really gets under their skin!
What did the pilot say to his co-pilot? “Let’s wing it!”
Why are pilots so good at poker? They never let anyone see their hand signals!
What’s a pilot’s favorite dance? The airplane shuffle!
Why did the pilot bring a ladder? He wanted to reach new heights!
What do you call a sleeping pilot? A plane dreamer!
Why don’t pilots ever feel down? They’re always looking up!
Pilot Jokes Q&A
Get ready for some high-flying Q&As that will have you laughing all the way to your destination!
Q: Why did the pilot go to therapy? A: He had too many emotional baggage fees!
Q: What did the pilot say to the nervous passenger? A: “Don’t worry, we’ll get through this together – it’s not rocket science, it’s plane science!”
Q: Why don’t pilots ever get tired? A: They’re always getting their second wind!
Q: What did the air traffic controller say to the lost pilot? A: “You’re really winging it today!”
Q: How do you know if someone’s a pilot? A: Don’t worry, they’ll tell you within the first five minutes!
Q: Why did the pilot bring a map to dinner? A: He wanted to navigate the menu!
Q: What’s the difference between a pilot and a pizza? A: A pizza can feed a family of four!
Q: Why don’t pilots make good secretaries? A: They’re always taking off!
Q: What did the pilot say when asked about his love life? A: “It’s been pretty turbulent lately!”
Q: How do pilots cut their hair? A: With aircraft clippers!
Q: Why did the pilot become a gardener? A: He was tired of flying and wanted to stay grounded!
Q: What’s a pilot’s favorite type of story? A: A tale with a good altitude adjustment!
Q: Why don’t pilots ever get seasick? A: They prefer air sickness!
Q: What did the pilot say to his valentine? A: “You make my heart soar!”
Q: How do pilots make decisions? A: They just wing it!
Q: Why did the pilot go to the eye doctor? A: He was having trouble with his altitude vision!
Q: What’s a pilot’s favorite game show? A: Wheel of Fortune – they love spinning!
Q: Why don’t pilots ever run out of gas? A: They always keep their tanks topped off!
Q: What did the pilot say when he won the lottery? A: “I’m flying high now!”
Q: How do you make a pilot laugh? A: Tell them a joke that really takes off!
Funny Pilot Jokes
These hilarious pilot jokes will have you laughing from takeoff to touchdown. Perfect for sharing with your flight crew!
A pilot was flying over the ocean when he noticed his fuel gauge was getting low. He radioed the tower: “I’m running out of fuel!” The controller replied: “Don’t worry, just glide it out!”
Why did the pilot always carry a pencil? In case he needed to draw his flight path!
A passenger asked the pilot, “How do you know we’re going the right way?” The pilot replied, “Trust me, I’ve never been lost for more than three hours!”
What do you call a pilot who’s also a magician? A flying wizard!
The co-pilot turned to the captain and said, “I think we’re flying upside down.” The captain replied, “How can you tell?” The co-pilot said, “The passengers are walking on the ceiling!”
Why don’t pilots ever get hungry during long flights? They’re always eating altitude!
A pilot walked into a bar with jumper cables around his neck. The bartender said, “I’ll serve you, but don’t start anything!”
What’s the difference between a pilot and a jet engine? The jet engine stops whining when it lands!
Why did the pilot take a nap during the flight? He wanted to catch some air time!
A passenger complained to the pilot: “This is the worst flight ever!” The pilot replied: “Sorry, but we’re just winging it today!”
Why don’t pilots make good stand-up comedians? All their jokes are over everyone’s head!
What did the pilot say when he saw a rainbow? “Now that’s what I call a colorful landing strip!”
A pilot’s favorite pickup line: “Hey baby, want to join the mile-high club?”
Why did the pilot become a meteorologist? He was already an expert at reading the atmosphere!
What do you call a pilot with perfect vision? 20-20 flight!
The pilot announced: “We’re experiencing some turbulence, but don’t worry – it’s just the plane having hiccups!”
Why don’t pilots ever get stressed? They know how to stay above it all!
What’s a pilot’s favorite type of bread? Plane bagels!
A pilot’s wife asked him: “How was your flight?” He replied: “It had its ups and downs!”
Why did the pilot go to music school? He wanted to learn how to conduct an orchestra at 40,000 feet!
What do you call a pilot who’s always complaining? A whine-er!
Best Pilot Jokes
These are the cream of the crop when it comes to aviation humor. These pilot jokes are guaranteed to earn your wings in comedy!
A pilot dies and goes to heaven. St. Peter shows him around and they come to a wall with thousands of clocks. “What are these?” asks the pilot. St. Peter replies: “These are lie clocks – every time someone tells a lie, the hands move.” The pilot asks: “Where’s the air traffic controller’s clock?” St. Peter says: “Oh, that’s in God’s office – he uses it as a ceiling fan!”
Why did the pilot always carry a mirror? So he could see himself flying!
What’s the difference between a pilot and a savings bond? Eventually, a savings bond will mature!
A passenger nervously asked the pilot: “How often do planes crash?” The pilot calmly replied: “Usually just once!”
Why don’t pilots ever get cold? They’re always flying in heated cabins!
What did the pilot say when he retired? “It’s been a flying career!”
A pilot was bragging about his flying skills when his wife interrupted: “Yeah, but can you parallel park?”
Why did the pilot become a teacher? He was great at giving altitude adjustments!
What do you call a pilot who’s afraid of flying? Unemployed!
The flight instructor asked his student: “What would you do if you lost an engine at 10,000 feet?” The student replied: “I’d radio for help!” The instructor said: “Good, and what if you lost radio contact?” The student thought and said: “I’d pray!” The instructor said: “Excellent, and what if that didn’t work?” The student replied: “I’d start looking for a new flight instructor!”
Why don’t pilots make good bartenders? They always over-serve the altitude!
What’s a pilot’s favorite movie? “Top Gun” – it never gets old!
A pilot’s motto: “Any landing you can walk away from is a good landing!”
Why did the pilot start a band? He was great at reaching high notes!
What do you call a pilot who’s also a detective? Sherlock Drones!
The captain announced: “Ladies and gentlemen, we’ve reached our cruising altitude of 35,000 feet. You’re now free to move about the cabin, but please don’t move about the plane!”
Why don’t pilots ever get parking tickets? They always find a good landing spot!
What’s the best thing about being a pilot? The view from the office!
A pilot walked into his local bar and the bartender said: “Hey, I haven’t seen you in a while!” The pilot replied: “I’ve been flying under the radar!”
Why did the pilot become a photographer? He had a great eye for aerial shots!
What do you call a pilot’s favorite snack? Plane peanuts!
Clever Pilot Jokes
These witty aviation jokes will have you thinking while you’re laughing. Perfect for the intellectually inclined aviator!
Why don’t pilots ever feel pressurized? They know how to decompress!
A physicist, an engineer, and a pilot were arguing about who had the oldest profession. The physicist said: “God created light – that’s physics!” The engineer said: “But first he created order from chaos – that’s engineering!” The pilot said: “Yeah, but who do you think created the chaos?”
What’s the difference between a pilot and a computer? You only have to punch information into a computer once!
Why did the pilot study philosophy? He wanted to understand the meaning of flight!
A pilot’s definition of a perfect landing: One where you can use the airplane again!
What do you call a pilot who’s also a mathematician? A flying calculator!
Why don’t pilots ever get writer’s block? They always know how to craft their flight plans!
A pilot, a doctor, and a lawyer were discussing their professions. The doctor said: “I save lives!” The lawyer said: “I uphold justice!” The pilot said: “I make both of your jobs possible by getting you places safely!”
What’s a pilot’s favorite type of literature? Anything with good altitude!
Why did the pilot become an architect? He was already designing flight paths!
A control tower operator asked a pilot: “What’s your altitude and position?” The pilot replied: “I’m 5’8″ and sitting in the left seat!”
What do you call a pilot who’s also a chef? A flying cook who really knows how to whip up some turbulence!
Why don’t pilots make good therapists? They’re always trying to help people reach new heights!
A passenger asked the pilot: “What’s that grinding noise?” The pilot replied: “That’s just my gears turning!”
What’s the difference between a pilot and a GPS? A GPS will admit when it’s lost!
Why did the pilot become a meteorologist? He was tired of being surprised by the weather!
A pilot’s favorite pickup line: “I may not be the Wright brother, but I can still take you places!”
What do you call a pilot who’s also a musician? Someone who really knows how to orchestrate a flight!
Why don’t pilots ever get stage fright? They’re used to performing at altitude!
A pilot announced: “We’re beginning our descent. Please return your seats to their upright position and your attitudes to their normal setting!”
What’s a pilot’s favorite type of humor? High-brow comedy!
Short Pilot Jokes
Quick and to the point – just like a good flight plan! These short pilot jokes pack maximum humor into minimum words.
Why don’t pilots text and fly? It’s plane dangerous!
What’s a pilot’s favorite drink? Jet fuel!
Why did the pilot get glasses? To improve his altitude vision!
What do you call a funny pilot? A stand-up flyer!
Why don’t pilots ever get flat tires? They don’t drive!
What’s a pilot’s favorite exercise? Wing spans!
Why did the pilot go to school? To get his altitude-education!
What do you call a pilot’s home? A hangar!
Why don’t pilots like turbulence? It’s a bumpy ride!
What’s a pilot’s favorite candy? Air-heads!
Why did the pilot become a DJ? He loved dropping beats!
What do you call a pilot’s mistake? A flight error!
Why don’t pilots get speeding tickets? They’re above the law!
What’s a pilot’s favorite sport? Sky diving!
Why did the pilot bring a parachute? Just in case!
What do you call a pilot’s story? A flight tale!
Why don’t pilots ever crash parties? They know how to make smooth landings!
What’s a pilot’s favorite season? Fall – they love the descent!
Why did the pilot love math? He was good with altitude!
What do you call a pilot’s pet? A fly!
What’s a pilot’s favorite tool? A propeller!
Why don’t pilots make good comedians? Their timing’s always off!
What do you call a pilot’s vacation? Time off the ground!
Why did the pilot wear sunglasses? The future was bright!
Classic Pilot Jokes
These timeless aviation jokes have been making people laugh since the dawn of flight. They’re the vintage aircraft of comedy!
A man walks into a bar with jumper cables around his neck. The bartender looks at him and says, “I’ll serve you, but don’t start anything!” Later, a pilot walks in and the bartender says, “What’ll it be?” The pilot says, “Something to help me get off the ground!”
What’s the difference between a pilot and a co-pilot? About $50,000 a year!
A flight attendant was giving the safety demonstration when she said: “In case of cabin pressure loss, oxygen masks will drop down. Put on your own mask first, then help your child. If you’re traveling with more than one child, pick your favorite!”
Why don’t pilots ever get motion sickness? They’re always in control!
An airline pilot wrote that on this particular flight he had hammered his ship into the runway really hard. The airline had a policy which required the first officer to stand at the door while the passengers exited, smile, and give them a “Thanks for flying our airline.” He said that, in light of his bad landing, he had a hard time looking the passengers in the eye, thinking that someone would have a smart comment. Finally everyone had gotten off except for a little old lady walking with a cane. She said, “Sir, do you mind if I ask you a question?” “Why, no, Ma’am,” said the pilot. “What is it?” The little old lady said, “Did we land, or were we shot down?”
What do you call a pilot who’s always on time? Plane punctual!
A pilot was flying a small plane with just one passenger. Suddenly, the engine failed. “Don’t worry,” said the pilot, “I’m going to radio for help.” A few minutes later, he said, “Bad news – the radio is dead too.” The passenger asked, “So what do we do now?” The pilot replied, “Well, I’ve got good news and bad news. The bad news is we’re going to crash. The good news is I wasn’t flying anywhere important!”
Why do pilots always check the weather? Because they don’t want to get caught in a storm!
What’s a pilot’s least favorite type of music? Heavy metal – it reminds them of turbulence!
A passenger complained to the flight attendant: “I’ve been waiting 30 minutes for my drink!” The flight attendant replied: “Sir, this is a 20-minute flight!”
Why don’t pilots ever get tired of flying? Because every flight is a new adventure!
What did the pilot say when he saw birds flying? “Amateur hour!”
A pilot’s favorite saying: “Keep the blue side up and the brown side down!”
Why don’t pilots make good comedians? They always bomb on landing!
What’s the difference between a pilot and a computer programmer? Pilots get paid to crash!
A passenger asked the pilot: “What happens if we lose both engines?” The pilot replied: “Well, we’ll probably be up here a lot longer!”
Why do pilots love their jobs? Because they get to be above it all!
What’s a pilot’s favorite type of joke? One that really takes off!
A pilot announced: “We’ve just lost our third engine, so we’ll be about an hour late. But don’t worry – if we lose the fourth engine, we’ll be up here all day!”
Why don’t pilots ever get stressed about traffic? They fly over it!
What do you call a pilot who’s having a bad day? Grounded!
Silly Pilot Jokes
These wonderfully absurd pilot jokes will have you laughing so hard you might need oxygen masks! Perfect for lightening the mood at any altitude.
What do you call a pilot who’s also a magician? Someone who makes planes disappear into thin air!
Why did the pilot bring a dictionary on the flight? He wanted to define turbulence!
A passenger asked the pilot: “Are you sure you know how to fly this thing?” The pilot replied: “Define ‘know’!”
What do you call a pilot who’s afraid of heights but loves flying? Confused!
Why did the pilot take his plane to the car wash? He wanted a squeaky-clean landing!
A pilot walked into a restaurant and said: “I’ll have the soup.” The waiter asked: “What kind?” The pilot said: “Doesn’t matter – I’m used to eating whatever’s floating around up there!”
What do you call a pilot who’s also a dentist? Someone who really knows about altitude cavities!
Why did the pilot bring a fishing rod on the plane? He heard there were plenty of fish in the sky!
A co-pilot said to the captain: “I think we’re lost.” The captain replied: “Don’t worry, we’re making great time to wherever we’re going!”
What do you call a pilot who’s also a comedian? A stand-up flyer who really knows how to land a joke!
Why did the pilot wear a scuba mask while flying? He wanted to be prepared for a water landing!
A passenger asked the pilot: “How high are we?” The pilot looked around and whispered: “Dude, I think we’re pretty high!”
What do you call a pilot who’s also a baker? Someone who really knows how to make the dough rise!
Why did the pilot bring a compass to the grocery store? He was used to navigating aisles from above!
A pilot announced: “Ladies and gentlemen, we’re currently flying at 30,000 feet, which is about 5.7 miles high, or roughly 158,400 beach balls stacked on top of each other!”
What do you call a pilot who’s also a librarian? Someone who really knows how to check out the view!
Why did the pilot bring a ladder to work? He wanted to climb to new heights!
A passenger noticed the pilot was wearing flip-flops and asked: “Is that standard pilot attire?” The pilot replied: “No, but they make great rudder pedals!”
What do you call a pilot who’s always singing? A flying tenor!
Why did the pilot become a photographer? He was already an expert at shooting from above!
A pilot radioed the tower: “I’m circling the airport but can’t find it!” The tower replied: “You’re flying a simulator – the airport is painted on the wall!”
Pilot Jokes for Kids
These family-friendly aviation jokes are perfect for young aspiring pilots! Clean, fun, and guaranteed to make kids smile.
Why don’t airplanes ever get tired? Because they have plenty of propellers to keep them going!
What do you call a sleeping pilot? A plain dreamer!
Why did the little airplane go to school? To learn how to fly higher!
What’s a pilot’s favorite type of sandwich? A plain sandwich!
Why don’t pilots ever get lost in the grocery store? They always know which aisle to fly down!
What did the baby airplane say to its mom? “Can I have my flying lessons now?”
Why do pilots make great teachers? They know how to help students reach new heights!
What do you call a pilot’s favorite pet? A flying dog!
Why did the airplane go to the doctor? It had a case of jet lag!
What’s a pilot’s favorite game? Follow the leader in the clouds!
Why don’t airplanes ever get hungry? They’re always full of passengers!
What did the little pilot say when he saw a rainbow? “Look, a colorful runway in the sky!”
Why do pilots love birthdays? They get to make wishes that can really take off!
What’s an airplane’s favorite subject in school? Plane geometry!
Why did the pilot bring crayons to work? To color in the flight plan!
What do you call a funny airplane? A jest plane!
Why don’t airplanes ever get scared? They’re brave enough to fly through clouds!
What did the airplane say to the bird? “Want to race to the clouds?”
Why do pilots make great friends? They’re always willing to take you places!
What’s a pilot’s favorite bedtime story? “The Little Plane That Could!”
Why did the airplane wear a scarf? It was a little plane cold!
What do you call an airplane that can’t fly? A plain plane!
Why do pilots love sunny days? Clear skies make for happy flying!
Pilot Jokes for Adults
These more sophisticated aviation jokes are perfect for the mature audience who appreciates clever wordplay and adult humor.
A pilot walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender says, “I can’t serve you – you’re flying in an hour!” The pilot replies, “Don’t worry, I’m not driving the plane home!”
Why don’t airline pilots make good husbands? They’re always looking for a smooth approach but usually end up with a hard landing!
What’s the difference between a pilot and a doctor? When a pilot makes a mistake, everyone knows about it immediately!
A pilot’s wife complained: “You love that plane more than me!” He replied: “Maybe, but I love you more than the helicopter!”
Why did the pilot’s marriage crash? Too much turbulence and not enough autopilot!
What do you call a pilot who’s also a wine connoisseur? Someone who really knows how to appreciate fine altitude!
A passenger asked the pilot: “What’s the worst part about your job?” The pilot replied: “The altitude adjustments I have to make with my salary!”
Why don’t pilots make good poker players? They always show their hand signals!
What’s a pilot’s favorite type of investment? Anything with high returns!
A pilot told his therapist: “I keep having dreams about flying.” The therapist said: “That’s normal for your profession.” The pilot replied: “But I’m dreaming about being a passenger!”
Why did the pilot get divorced? His wife said he was always up in the clouds!
What do you call a pilot who’s also a philosopher? Someone who really ponders the meaning of flight!
A pilot’s pickup line: “Are you interested in joining the mile-high club? I have my own plane!”
Why don’t pilots ever have midlife crises? They’re already flying expensive toys!
What’s the difference between a pilot and a teenager? Teenagers think they know everything, but pilots actually do!
A co-pilot asked the captain: “How do you stay so calm during turbulence?” The captain replied: “Easy – I remember that the plane is more expensive than I am!”
Why did the pilot become a motivational speaker? He was great at helping people reach their peak performance!
What do you call a pilot’s favorite type of therapy? Altitude adjustment counseling!
A passenger complained about the bumpy flight. The pilot replied: “Ma’am, I’m not in control of the turbulence – I just work here!”
Why don’t pilots make good comedians? Their delivery is always up in the air!
What’s a pilot’s favorite excuse for being late? “Sorry, I got caught in some unexpected headwinds!”
Quick Pilot Jokes
Perfect for when you need a fast laugh between flights! These rapid-fire pilot jokes are short, sweet, and sky-high funny.
What’s a pilot’s favorite type of math? Plane geometry!
Why don’t pilots ever crash diet? They prefer smooth landings!
What do you call a pilot’s autobiography? A flight log!
Why did the pilot go to the bank? To get some plane cash!
What’s a pilot’s favorite holiday? Fly-day!
Why don’t pilots make good DJs? They always have technical difficulties!
What do you call a pilot’s favorite flower? A cockpit rose!
Why did the pilot become a chef? He was great at altitude seasoning!
What’s a pilot’s least favorite weather? Plane rain!
Why don’t pilots ever get parking tickets? They always find elevated spots!
What do you call a pilot’s favorite snack? Wing nuts!
Why did the pilot go to therapy? Altitude sickness!
What’s a pilot’s favorite dance? The wing walk!
Why don’t pilots make good comedians? Their timing is always off!
What do you call a pilot’s favorite movie? Top Gun!
Why did the pilot become a teacher? Great altitude for instruction!
What’s a pilot’s favorite type of music? Anything instrumental!
Why don’t pilots ever get speeding tickets? They’re above traffic laws!
What do you call a pilot’s favorite book? Flight manual!
Why did the pilot go to art school? To learn aerial perspective!
What’s a pilot’s favorite game? Sky diving simulator!
Why don’t pilots make good secretaries? Always taking off!
What do you call a pilot’s favorite drink? High altitude water!
Pilot Jokes to Share
These shareable pilot jokes are perfect for spreading aviation humor far and wide. Share them with your flight crew, passengers, or anyone who appreciates good comedy!
A pilot, a programmer, and a mathematician were flying together when the pilot announced they were lost. The programmer said: “No problem, I’ll just GPS our location.” The mathematician said: “I can calculate our position using the stars.” The pilot said: “Guys, I found the problem – someone forgot to put fuel in the plane!”
Why don’t pilots ever get stage fright? They’re used to performing for a captive audience!
What’s the difference between a fighter pilot and a commercial pilot? Fighter pilots think they’re gods, commercial pilots know they’re not!
A passenger asked the pilot: “What’s the most dangerous part of flying?” The pilot replied: “The drive to the airport!”
Why did the pilot become a stand-up comedian? He was already used to dealing with turbulence!
What do you call a pilot who’s also a detective? Someone who really knows how to investigate from above!
A flight instructor told his student: “Remember, there are old pilots and bold pilots, but no old, bold pilots!”
Why don’t pilots make good comedians? Half their audience is asleep and the other half is praying!
What’s a pilot’s favorite type of story? One with a good plot twist at altitude!
A pilot announced: “Ladies and gentlemen, I have good news and bad news. The bad news is we’re completely lost. The good news is we’re making excellent time!”
Why did the pilot join a band? He was great at reaching high notes!
What do you call a pilot who’s always complaining? A whine pilot!
A passenger asked the pilot: “How do you stay so calm during storms?” The pilot replied: “Easy – I remember that panicking won’t change the weather!”
Why don’t pilots ever get tired of their jobs? Because every day brings new horizons!
What’s the difference between a pilot and a pizza delivery guy? The pizza guy can find your house!
A co-pilot asked the captain: “What’s your secret to smooth landings?” The captain replied: “I pretend the runway is my wife’s heart – approach gently and touch down softly!”
Why did the pilot become a photographer? He already had the best view in the house!
What do you call a pilot’s favorite type of humor? Sky-high comedy!
A pilot’s motto: “Keep the shiny side up and the greasy side down!”
Why don’t pilots make good poker players? They always fold under pressure!
What’s a pilot’s favorite pickup line? “Want to see my cockpit?”
Clean Pilot Jokes
These wholesome aviation jokes are suitable for all audiences and guaranteed to keep your humor flying high without any turbulence!
Why did the airplane go to school? It wanted to improve its altitude-tude!
What do you call a pilot who’s great at math? A plane genius!
Why don’t airplanes ever get cold? They have great insulation at high altitude!
What’s a pilot’s favorite type of exercise? Wing stretches!
Why did the pilot bring a map to dinner? He never travels anywhere without proper navigation!
What do you call an airplane’s favorite music? Anything with a good flight pattern!
Why don’t pilots ever get lost in the mall? They always know how to find the food court from above!
What did the airplane say to the runway? “Thanks for always being there for my landings!”
Why do pilots make great friends? They’re always willing to take you to new heights!
What’s a pilot’s favorite subject in school? Geography – they see it from the best perspective!
Why did the airplane join the choir? It had perfect pitch for high notes!
What do you call a pilot’s favorite bedtime story? “The Little Engine That Could Fly!”
Why don’t airplanes ever get tired during long flights? They’re always getting their second wind!
What’s a pilot’s favorite type of weather? Clear skies and tailwinds!
Why did the pilot become a teacher? He was great at helping students soar to success!
What do you call an airplane that loves to read? A bookworm with wings!
Why don’t pilots ever feel down? They’re always looking up at the bright side!
What’s a pilot’s favorite game? Hide and seek in the clouds!
Why did the airplane go to the library? It wanted to check out some flight manuals!
What do you call a pilot’s favorite sandwich? A club sandwich at 30,000 feet!
Why don’t airplanes ever get homesick? They carry their home base with them!
Hilarious Pilot Jokes
Get ready for maximum laughter altitude! These side-splitting pilot jokes will have you rolling in the aisles (or should we say aisles of the plane?).
A pilot dies and goes to heaven. St. Peter shows him to a beautiful mansion. “This is yours,” he says. “But I was just a pilot,” the man protests. “Why do I get such a nice place?” St. Peter replies, “Well, we’ve never had a pilot make it here before – you’re kind of a novelty!”
What’s the difference between a pilot and a jet engine? The jet engine stops whining after landing!
A nervous passenger asked the flight attendant: “Do planes crash often?” She replied: “No sir, usually just once!”
Why did the pilot always carry a dictionary? In case he needed to look up “Mayday” in multiple languages!
A pilot was flying through turbulence when a passenger asked: “Are we going to crash?” The pilot replied: “Well, statistically speaking, we crash about as often as I tell the truth – so you’re probably safe!”
What do you call a pilot who’s also a stand-up comedian? Someone who really knows how to bomb at altitude!
A co-pilot turned to the captain and said: “I think we’re flying upside down!” The captain looked around and replied: “How can you tell?” The co-pilot said: “Well, the flight attendants are walking on the ceiling and serving drinks to the overhead compartments!”
Why don’t pilots ever win at hide and seek? They’re always visible on radar!
A passenger complained: “This turbulence is terrible!” The pilot announced: “Ladies and gentlemen, we’re experiencing some choppiness, but don’t worry – it’s just the sky’s way of giving us a massage!”
What’s the difference between a pilot and a GPS? A GPS will eventually admit when it’s recalculating!
A flight instructor asked his student: “What would you do if you were flying at night and your lights went out?” The student replied: “I’d use the light from my cell phone!” The instructor said: “And what if your phone battery died?” The student thought and said: “I’d turn on the plane’s headlights!” The instructor sighed: “This is an airplane, not a car!” The student replied: “Well, then I guess I’d just follow the glow from all the other planes’ headlights!”
Why did the pilot become a therapist? He was already an expert at dealing with people’s baggage!
A pilot announced: “Ladies and gentlemen, due to a computer malfunction, we’ll be landing using the manual backup system. Please remain calm – I got this flight simulator game for Christmas and I’ve been practicing!”
What do you call a pilot who’s having a bad hair day? Someone who’s experiencing turbulence at personal altitude!
A passenger asked the pilot: “What’s that loud noise?” The pilot replied: “That’s just the sound of me trying to remember where I put the landing gear manual!”
Dark Pilot Jokes
For those who appreciate humor with a bit more edge, these darker aviation jokes will have you laughing nervously at 30,000 feet.
What’s a pilot’s favorite type of humor? Gallows humor – it comes naturally when you’re up in the air!
